Squirrel Futures is the world's first AI-native futures prop firm built exclusively for woodland creatures and the humans who trade like them. Our Neural Acorn Engine™ processes 14 billion candles per second so that you don't have to process any.
Exchange-listed futures only. Cleared, settled, and hoarded properly.
Until the burrow opens — 1 October 2026, 9:30am ET
As mentioned, briefly, by
Industry-leading artificial intelligence
A quantum-adjacent, vertically-integrated machine intelligence stack trained end-to-end on four centuries of proprietary squirrel behavioural data. It does not predict the market. It anticipates the forest.
Our transformer architecture identifies where liquidity has been buried and, crucially, forgets where it buried it — replicating the single most authentic squirrel behaviour in nature.
Position size is computed in real time by a 400-billion-parameter model that has never once been asked to explain itself. Drawdown is automatically reclassified as seasonal storage.
Reads every tick, headline, and rustle in the underbrush. Outputs a single number between one and ten. We are not currently able to say what the number means.
Our co-located inference cluster processes more candles per second than exist. This is not an error. We reprocess the same candles repeatedly for confidence.
The model is rewarded with simulated acorns and punished with simulated winter. After 40 million episodes it has learned to simply hold cash, which we have overridden.
Every signal ships with a plain-English rationale generated by a second AI that did not see the trade. Rationales are 100% readable and approximately 60% related.
One asset class. On purpose.
One asset class, studied to the point of obsession. Exchange-listed futures contracts that clear through actual clearing houses staffed by actual humans. If we cannot get out of a position in under a second, we do not get into it.
Contracts on the menu
Pending exchange review
Twelve contracts currently awaiting exchange review. We have submitted the paperwork four times. The Mast Index is a real forestry measure and we would like that noted.
The evaluation
Three tiers. One objective. Hit the profit target without shaking the branch. Our AI supervises every trade and will intervene if it detects panic, greed, or an unusually long nap.
Pricing shown is pre-launch and is subject to change.
Three phases
Take the evaluation on a simulated account. Hit the target, respect the drawdown, and let the Neural Acorn Engine™ watch you do it. Most recruits complete this in eleven days.
Receive your allocation and start trading futures with our nuts. Keep up to 92%. Withdraw every 48 hours, processed by a squirrel with a very small calculator.
Scale into institutional allocation, join the upper canopy, and gain voting rights on which tree we move to next. Winter, when it comes, will not concern you.
Recruit stories
"I had been burying nuts manually for four years. The Neural Acorn Engine™ found 340 of them in an afternoon. Most were mine. Some were not. I did not ask."
"Passed the evaluation in nine days trading MES exclusively. The AI told me to stop at 2pm every day. It did not explain why. I have never been more profitable or more afraid."
"Other firms offered me four hundred instruments and a welcome bonus. Squirrel Futures offered me corn futures and a firm handshake. I chose correctly and I have not been offered a bonus since."
Why enlist
Capital preservation before capital growth. Every position sized for the lean months by a machine that has simulated forty million winters and did not enjoy any of them.
Hit your drawdown and the position closes — the account lives. Other firms delete you. We simply move you to a lower branch and speak to you differently.
Request a withdrawal, receive it within two days, every time, no exceptions, subject to exceptions. Our payout squirrel works Tuesdays through most of Thursday.
Four rules. They fit on one acorn. We had them engraved. Any firm that needs eleven pages is hiding a twelfth.
CME, CBOT, NYMEX, COMEX. Real contracts, real clearing, real settlement, real overnight margin calls at four in the morning.
400,000 recruits sharing setups, fills, and an unshakeable collective belief that this time the trade will work. Winter is a group activity.
The Squirrel Army
Four hundred thousand recruits. Sixty-one countries. One tree. Every member receives a rank, a designated branch, and access to the shared hoard intelligence feed — which is mostly other squirrels asking whether anyone else is long.
Enlistment
Drop your email and we will notify you the moment the burrow opens. Pre-launch recruits keep the 92% split for life and skip the queue at the trunk.
One email at launch. We will not sell your data — we will bury it and forget where.